fix(ops): fail closed before manual VM reset

[Pigbibi]

Summary

• add an explicit allow_vm_reset workflow-dispatch input, defaulting to false
• fail closed on manual SSH/SCP/deploy failures instead of automatically resetting the VM unless explicitly allowed
• preserve existing scheduled and push recovery behavior

Validation

• bash tests/test_install_2fa_bot_watcher.sh
• bash tests/test_wait_for_ib_gateway_ready.sh
• bash tests/test_workflow_shared_config.sh
• bash tests/test_docker_compose_ports.sh
• bash tests/test_gateway_recovery_scripts.sh
• bash tests/test_run_override_api_config.sh
• actionlint .github/workflows/*.yml
• git diff --check

[github-actions]

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✅ Merge allowed: No issues found

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